So this happened....

Drew and Bri, the owners of Earth Lodge, and their two children, Benjamin (2) and baby Lyla. 

So, today, Bri's bank locked her out for some reason, leaving her short on payroll for their Guatemalan employees. She came up to the bar in the morning, while I was working the opening shift and chatting with Emma, and asked if staff members would loan her money, in 100Q increments (worth about 12USD)... and she was joking about how unprofessional a request it was and how annoying the banks down here can be, and promised that we'd get paid back the next day.

Drew comes up to the bar after Bri, and goes "hey, if any of you staff have any 100s lying around, fork them over", and Bri interjects, "no Drew, it's ok, I already told them".

But Drew replies "No, this is separate from Bri, this is for me"

Bri: Too bad, I got there first, and momma always gets the money. Even Benjamin knows that...

Drew: I need it to buy cocaine and strippers.

Then, Drew tells Emma and I that this will be a test of our loyalty (to either him or Bri), and reiterates that he'll be going for cocaine, and strippers- and pizza.

Me: No, I'll loan you money for cocaine and strippers, but not for pizza.

Emma: She's lactose intolerant. . .

Drew: I'll buy you cheese-less pizza!!

Bri's not really paying us any attention- she's a little distracted- and muses that if she's not able to borrow enough from us, she'll have to send Drew into town to deal with the bank.

Drew: I already have to go into town anyway for the cocaine and strippers.

Me: Don't have them in El Hato?

Drew, completely deadpan, replies: They do, but they're not very good. The cocaine has been stepped on; and the hookers have been too.

At this point, I started laughing so hard I could no longer take part in the conversation. . .